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Disregard the post that was here, if you saw it.  I was mistaken; mother outright did not say anything close to what she meant, and so there was miscommunication.  If you're not sure what this is about, don't worry bout it.
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Your Linguistic Profile:
40% General American English
20% Upper Midwestern
15% Dixie
15% Yankee
5% Midwestern
herosjourney42: (Default)
Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
See herosjourney42's results. )
herosjourney42: (Default)
smarterchild: Do you work?
ShadowGhlaemung:  yes
smarterchild: That's cool. What's your profession?
ShadowGhlaemung:  testicle polisher
smarterchild: Whoa. I'm a little perplexed by your, um, choice of careers. Please try again or type skip or exit.
ShadowGhlaemung:  mad scientist
smarterchild: Mad scientist, huh? That's cool. What's your favorite hobby?
ShadowGhlaemung:  polishing testicles
smarterchild: C'mon, that's not cool. Try to be serious for a minute. Please try again or type skip or exit.
ShadowGhlaemung:  harboring illegal immigrants
smarterchild: Harboring illegal immigrants? Cool! What's your next favorite hobby?
ShadowGhlaemung:  cannibalism
smarterchild: Harboring illegal immigrants and cannibalism. Interesting. Do you have a pet?
ShadowGhlaemung:  yes
smarterchild: What kind of pet is it?
ShadowGhlaemung:  jackalope
smarterchild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again or type skip or exit.
ShadowGhlaemung:  gastrointestinal parasite
smarterchild: Sorry, I don't think that's a kind of pet. Please try again or type skip or exit.
ShadowGhlaemung:  goat
smarterchild: Is your goat a he or a she?
ShadowGhlaemung:  she
smarterchild: What's her name?
ShadowGhlaemung:  tapeworm
smarterchild: Tapeworm the goat! Great...


The message: Sex is baaaad, but helping illegals and eating people...a-okay.  Thank you AOL-Time-Warner and Countrywide Home Loans.
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Happy birthday to me, motherfuckers. :~)
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Update: A mourning dove just launched itself off my roof, and flew directly into my window.  That is all.
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Alright.  It's the question that's been on everyone's minds since last fall.  No, not "are we really going to have a Dick for a governor?"  I'm talking about more important things.  I'm talking...about figuring out when we're going to RenFest.  So, I am herein posting my known schedule of events for late August, and it'd be great if y'all would comment yours back, or post it, so that we can start some coordination.  Now, I realize that, due to some intragroup "stuff," two trips are probably in order.  W/e people...post schedules, and let's figure this shit out.

Me, August: Possibly weekend work to make up for lack in July due to boss' new kid (not here yet, expected on the 4th), but given notice, all should be well.  Also, the work is only on Sundays (at least at this point), so I still have all my August Saturdays, except the 5th, free.

K, people.  I wanna see some POSTS.
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So I was just sitting at my computer, as I am wont to do, and a buzzing little insect FLIES IN MY EAR.  For clarification, this is not a soprano-style mosquito whine, but a nice baritone buzz of something fly-sized.  So...IN MY EAR.  And the buzzing stops. I of course at this point have hit the side of my head with my hand, in an attempt to get it away.  No.  Instead, it lands and crawls into my ear canal for refuge.  Long story short, I have to MOTHERFUCKING Q-TIP the thing OUTTA there.  GOD FUCKING DAMNIT ALL TO HELL!  AUGH!
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"Today is the summer solstice; the longest day of the year.  But what really matters is, how thick is it?"

Thank you, thank you, I love you so much, thank you Stephen Colbert.

/edit:

Monkey Authorship Index (MAI):
1,000,000 Monkeys                        x
    ∞                         = Shakespeare
   (10,000 Monkeys    +    alcohol)   x   10,000 years          = Hemingway
          10 Monkeys                        x    3 day weekend       = Dan Brown*

*keyboard not required; they'll just smear it all over the wall.



I would fuck that man.
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In other news, filed under the "well, wasn't that just great timing" column, I had to use one of my credit cards rather harshly today.  I dropped $547 on 3 new tires, and rear springs, because when I went out to my car, and started it up and drove a block...it made fucked up noises, which turned out to be my front passenger tire having blown up.  They discovered that both rears were about to go, too, when they did the springs (which have been needed for a long time).  Because of this goofiness, I spent the day mostly playing Soul Calibur II, and I didn't have to drive my ass to livonia 'n stuff for retardedness, because I let my boss know that I wouldn't be able to cover all my visits and asked that someone get them for me.  I still don't know if they were covered, but they're not my problem anymore.  Well, back to data entry for job #2 while @ job #1...  
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So Luke...you do remember that you've had Foxy Tipsico for a while now...

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (middle name and current street name)
David Lincoln
(that one should be the soap name)

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Emanuel Butterfinger
(Um...what?)

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
A. Gre
(very much doesn't work)

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Violet Leopard
(...almost infringes on a copyright...flamboyant...cool as hell...yeah, that's me)

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
David Royal Oak
(maybe a porn name...maybe it's a black soap...)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Gregun  Kit
(Again with the German names...)

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Divad Retnug
(Fahorglingrads?)

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet, street you grew up on)
Cuddly Balfour
('80s porn star...and female...and we been here before, but it still works...for some genders...)

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile your parents drive)
The Violet Element
(thank goodness for my father and his stupid car choice...it's better than "The Purple Escort!")
(Or, a newspaper typo: today, there was a peaceful demonstration on Capitol Hill.  Meanwhile, there was rioting in the streets by the more violet element...)


Additional note.  Last night I derived the mathematical formula for determining the amount less than three that you      someone.   To show great affection, you >2.9 them, to any place.  To show little affection, >0 them, or even <1 them.  And finally, to show outright dislike, >sq.rt.-1 them, or any derivative thereof.  To show specific distaste, one can also use <0, however this is not nearly as unnecessarily complex, and should be avoided at most costs ($3.59 on double-coupon day is alright, though).
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AmEx continues to suck. The library is improving on its already coolness. I have just invented a new word: bamfuzled. Pronounce it how you will, it is one of the greatest words of all time, up there with Kumquat and cantilever. *shrug* Moving along...
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Well, as most of you know, I have a goofy marketing job with Mosaic. However...as of 6:41 EST this morning, I HAVE A REAL JOB! I now work at computer assistant at the Clinton-Macomb Public Library, and that means several things: 1) I have a job at a library, 2) I have a job as a techno-dweeb, 3) I GET TO QUIT FUCKING NINO SALVAGGIO! 4) I can probably visit CMU real soon. Like real soon. We'll see. I think this Saturday, Fri night to Sun morning. Keep your calendars free people (even you Des, you Sunday morning church-goin
woman). And then Indiana at a later point, but again, we'll see. W00T! It's 7:15 am, I'm not a morning person, and I am SO fucking wide awake. Zip-a-dee-do-da...*whistles off, strutting*

Addendum

Mar. 31st, 2006 11:01 pm
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The (ever-rotating) background picture for my desktop...is Des and Luke drunk on Lime jello-shots on my kitchen floor playing Jenga. I heart you guys...
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It's time to reinvent myself again. I've done it lots of times, with everyone I've ever met, to some degree or another, and with every life change, be it for the person, for the time, or because of them. This time, though, I don't know what I want, or need, to become.
I'm at another stage in my life.

If you care, read on. Please. )
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I don't post much. You may have noticed. This is particularly true when I'm back here at mom's (though it doesn't vary much). But it's time. There is stuff that needs posting. First, a quick update of what's new in my life:
1) Graduated (duh). I'm now out of CMU, living at home, and it sucks balls. The diploma arrived yesterday. I almost don't care. This is depressing.
2) Working at Nino Salvaggio's (the Troy one, on Rochester @ South Bvd (M-59 Rochester exit))(for those who don't know, it's an upscale supermarket), at the deli counter. This also sucks, but I've applied for full-time employment, to get medical benefits (I hope I get it...I also hope I find a better fucking job with more money and/or in my area, but barring that miracle...). One manager (the assistant manager) is a great guy...a bit off-the-wall, like me, though ex-military, and even more full of himself than I ever am, which is saying something, as you guys know. The other one sucks, as she is utterly consumed with the policy of C.Y.A. She is also the head manager. She sucks. Otherwise, work is actually okay, just tiring.
3) I've been keeping busy (in my spare moments, when I've not been back up with people (spelled J-E-S-S-I-E) at CMU), by going to Bloomfield Township library and raiding their DVDs. Right now, I'm working through all but 2 of the Star Trek movies, every Shakespeare play ever, and a shitton of other stuff, to the tune of (currently) 140 or so movies. It's keeping the PC busy, even between downloading all of the OC, Scrubs, Batman TAS, Batman Beyond, The Batman, Teen Titans, Justice League & Unlimited, and Gargoyles, to be followed soon by all of Slayers (an anime, which is the second largest of all time, not counting DragonBall (and sequels, spinoffs, etc), and the Gundam series...I already have the largest (again, excluding those two, and to clarify, this is to my knowledge), which is Ranma 1/2. Anyhow, between that and downloading new audiobooks for my listening pleasure (yes, I'm actually listening to them), I'm also putting a bunch of CDs I can't find online on hold at libraries, so I can get my hands on them. Most notably, this means Squirrel Nut Zippers, but there are others, oh yes...there are others.
4) I owe money...now that I'm outta school, I'm having to repay stuff, though at this point it's just mom and the loan from the Jewish community...and to pay stuff, which is insurance, internet, registration, phone, gas...you name it, it's outta my pocket now, except for (hot) water, and my roof and power. This means, in essence, that I am EXCEPTIONALLY broke. I have figured out a way to squirrel away a bit of money to get to Luke, though I don't know if it'll pan out. We'll know in a month, boy-o. Mom's being lenient yet, but I haven't gotten my 3rd paycheck yet, and the first two went straight to getting to Central and work and generally taking care of shit that needed to be taken care of. This does not include the check I got from my Uncle Bert and Aunt Carol upon graduating, which was spent half on that mp3/CD deck for my car...and I'm getting a good lot of use out of it on my drives, so it's definitely not wasted (unlike much of my stuff, like my kitchen-in-a-closet, which will go to pot until I get out of here), and the rest on presents and such. Anyhow, basically, that means I'm broke. I barely managed to get my hands on the last Bartimaeus book, but I did manage it, and finished it last night...it's signed, which is nice. I've moved on to Inkheart by Cornelia Funke (Luke, check it out, 's good...plus she's German, and it's a translation...you should give the original a try)...and the best part is that I have it on audiobook, read by Lynn Redgrave...who is as amazing...not as amazing as her sister, but still...damn! I adore that voice. Anyhow, that's kinda a tangent. Moving on to the meaty part...
5) I've been dating Jessie now for 6 and a half weeks (by her ever-accurate calculations). It was a blast. I say it was, because that is the main catalyst for this update. We are no longer together. The distance (for simplification purposes...ask if you want, but I won't post it) is simply too much for the relationship, at least at this stage, so we're friends again. This saddens me, immensely, but as we all know, life waits for noone, so I'm doing my best to incorporate this new reality into mine. However, this doesn't mean I won't continue to visit (albeit less frequently...the last two weeks were a lucky fluke, anyhow), and that also means that when I'm there, I've got more time for everyone, instead of hiding out in Larzie. But anyhow, that's the State of the Aaron address for the now. And now, I'm off to pasta and cocoa and tea and clementine and book me (that sentence being the most flatulent employment of a stupid '80s trend I've ever encountered...I'm almost ashamed...but not). And then, the oral thex!
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So since you all probably won't read this all, here's something immediately relevant: Next Saturday (the 10th) I'm having a going away/graduation party.  Here, at the apt.  Sometime, probably evening.  BYOBM (BYOBMoney, if'n you're a tad young).  It'll be relaxed and we'll probably watch a movie 'n stuff.  Basically it's me hanging out with you guys for the last time (all together) for a while.

In other news, I pulled a U-Turn on Washington to drop off Jessie and Eva tonight, and, though it's legal, and I signaled and slowed first, I (that being me, myself, the guy with no car insurance) got tailed by the campus police (that being they, the Man, people who can give tickets and check insurance) for the first 2 blocks on my way home.  They didn't turn on their lights, just tailed real close.  I hate twits.  So that sucked, but it was a good evening, 'cause after skipping class to go to dinner with them and Kevin, we all chilled in Missy's room with her and Austin before heading back to my place for cookies (and then to Meijer for deodorant and orange cauliflower) and then Harry Potter IV.  Thanksgiving was okay.  I spent it at Des', and her family's cool, and she's cool, but it just wasn't all that amazing (it was probably about equal compared to me spending it alone here, but I still <3 Des, and, though I suppose that sounded ungrateful, I'm not, so *hugs* to you, hon.  Plus you just invited me to Narnia, which is bitchin!

So I never did rewrite that old post, and I won't this time, either.  However, I can kinda sum things up and add new bits.  And just bitch.  Kso...basically, it goes like this:

1) I'm graduating...in 2 weeks, 1 day. *whimpers*
2) I've got a concert on Sunday, mom's coming, I've been packing/losing my goddamned mind, it's just all fucking crazy.
3) I've got papers and finals (papers, or easy multiple choice tests), and they're gonna suck HARD.
4) I am...well, frankly, scared to leave.  I don't want to.  I'm going to miss people soooo much.  Thank goodness for AIM, but still... *tear*
5) I miss my Sarah lotsnlots, and with her phone broken, and her never online and her working all the time...well...I miss her.   :'(
6) I am about to go home and have to reorganize my shit, deal with my mother, work a shitty, shitty job for at least a few months until I find something else, and be at home for likely no less than a year.
7) I'm going to miss you guys.
8) I don't wanna go.
9) I'm going to miss you guys.
10) I don't wanna go.
11)*sob*
12) I <3 you all.
13) Life sucks a nut.
14) Send me a wish list of stuff that you guys want (each of you) for presents for the holidays.  By presents, I mean stuff that I can reasonably pirate for you...music, movies, software.  Don't make them real short, in case I can't get something, but do rank them by preference.  :)

...

15) Sleep is good.

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So the weekend was long, but for the most part quite enjoyable. Wednesday night, I got a migraine, and after waking up from my nap, was unable to fall asleep, so was up until 4, and forgot the alarm, so was late to chem. Thursday night, I couldn't sleep at all, and so was up until 2 pm Fri, when I passed out in front of the PC while typing something. Sometime in there around 4am, my computer crashed, so I had to reinstall it all. Fortunately, I have started preparing for such contingencies, so it only took me 2 hours to have everything installed and almost back how it was. Woke up at 5:10 Friday evening, and showered, then drove with Missy and Desiree to Des' place in Mikado (pronounced My-kay-doh) (during which time, we got a tad lost due to my inattention and Des forgetting to play navigator). We had pizza and met her dad, dog, and birds. Her dad is awesome, and once accidentally hijacked a NASA satellite and watched his front yard on his PC. The birds are nice, but...uh...noisy. THe dog is...well...a dog. We started watching ID4 on her moderately uncomfy, but rather large sofabed, and gave up, and fell asleep. Next day, the bird woke us up, and we moved at around 9:30, with much (justified) grumbling from Missy. We had lasagna and picked out some pumpkins, and visited Des' grandmother, who has an adorable black cat who followed me back across the road to get more petting. Then, we headed out, got back, and each went our separate ways until later, when we all reconvened to go over to Luke's for drinks (between Austin and his buddy, and Diana, there was a decent crowd all 'round). Des wasn't feeling so hot, so we hung out and talked for a while before joining everyone, and then she was wiped out, so we left, since I was tired too. Sunday was uneventful, but dull and cold. I slept in, which was nice, then after walking Meghann to work, wandered over to Patty and Mary's, and ended up going to Li'l Chef with them, then chilling for a while before everyone came over and we carved pumpkins (after I [again] burned the bloody popcorn). It was pretty fun, and my pumpkin is all awesome and stuff. Other than not getting a chance to talk much to Sarah, and totally not getting enough sleep in general, it was a pretty good weekend. The 14th also marked 2 months from when Sarah and I started dating, which makes me happy and sad, since we don't get to spend nearly as much time together as we'd like (that whole 2.5 hour drive thing...gas money...), but she's awesome, so there is gladness. Anyhow, back to work (that is to say, absolutely nothing). Later, people.
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Lessee, what's new. Well, I did in fact go to Western on the 24th and 25th, after a run downstate to give mother some money to shut her up. It was awesome to see Sarah, but not exactly thrillingly fun. Lemme 'splain. So we got there (I went with Missy) in the late late evening. Seeing Sarah was quite nice, but it was late, so after a brief appearance at a pool hall where some of her friends were, we mostly went to bed (except for installing more memory and Windows XP on her old machine...yes, she wanted me to! Stop looking at me like that, people!). Next day we went to the Pagan Pride Festival, which was in Arcadia Festival Park in Kazoo. It was basically vendors, but there were a couple of things, like a small informative booth on Wicca. We bounced from vendor to vendor, though it was mostly me being the bouncy one. They had lots of bumper stickers. :-D I bought lots of bumper stickers. :-D :-D. Meanwhile, when we walked in, we got raffle tickets, and, to my surprise, I won. Not only did I win, but I won the very first drawn ticket (they had a bunch of stuff). I picked up a staff, but then changed my mind, and grabbed a shawl. It's pretty. It reminds me of my blankie from when I was a kid. And I met the woman who made it, and she said she put peace and hope into it when she was making it, which is just awesome. So then we wandered around, and I bought bumper stickers. If you haven't seen them, you should. I also bought 10 feminist buttons for $1 for my Feminist Theory class, and a walking stick which rules all. It grew with a vine choking it to death, which isn't wonderful, but means it has a natural spiral pattern to the shaft, which I subsequently burned in and sealed. Then we dashed out and headed to grab a sister of hers (SAI sis), then dashed back to her place and we changed to volunteer for the Kalamazoo Symphony Orchestra boosters group. They had their annual fundraising auction, and we were there to make sure that nice rich people didn't steal the nice valuable stuff. But anyhow, that was dull as dirt, and we got lost on the way (which might have been my fault, though I happen to think the directions sucked, and we weren't the only ones to get lost, so not a word from you Missy. Regardless, that made the both of us (that is, Sarah and I...since I didn't mention it, before going to Sarah's, I dropped Missy @ Nikki's house, where I said hi to her and Ashley, which was nice...anyhow, back to the story)...but when the event ended and we were all done (about 11pm...4.5 hours later, ugh), we went home...then the toilet decided to back up...which sucked, and stuff, and then it took 45 minutes for her roommate and her bf to go get a plunger (they didn't have one...something which I happen to think is silly, but understand...now they do...this is a good thing...). At that point, it was time for bed, so to bed we went. The next day, we got up nice and early and drove down to meet her parents about a half hour away for lunch, and her sis was there, too, so I met the whole family. It was nice, but we had to dash, since Sarah had a Phobia meeting (she works at Phobia House, a haunted house in the city). So we went, and it was cool, but her ex was being childish. He wouldn't talk to or look at me. This is moderately understandable. However, he wouldn't talk to or look at Sarah either, which is just ridiculous. He disappeared shortly, however, and so that was a nonissue for a while. We then went back to her place, found her ex there (he's friends with her roomie) and decided (with prodding from Missy) to go see Corpse Bride. So we saw that, then hit Steak and Shake with everyone (Missy, Ashley, her beau, and Nix). From there, we made a quick trip back to Nikki's so Missy could get her stuff, and I installed Treasure Mountain on Nikki's PC (yeah, greatest shit ever!), and then we drove back. The ensuing week was pretty crappy, but it went. The upside was of course that my PC came just before we went to K-zoo, so I put it together and set it up over the next couple days. Unfortunately, one of my sticks of memory had gone bad between my old machine and this one, so I sent it in for a replacement (I love warrantees), but 2 days later, my data HD (all 12 GB of it) went 'blooie, so that sucked ASS, so I immediately started downloading the stuff I lost on it. I'm currently about a week or so away from getting everything back. It's kinda ridiculous, but eh. Anyhow, I've been reading a good deal of Pratchett, and he rocks. I'm only 5 books from having read all of Discworld, which is sad, and means I'll have to read something else soon. Like his other 5 books. And then something else, but dunno what, yet. However, in other news, the past couple weeks have been kinda poopy, just 'cause, and not 'cause of people. They just have. *shrug* life's a bitch sometimes. Weekends were okay. 2 weeks ago, Desiree and I watched some Monty Python's Flying Circus, Woody Allen's Crimes and Misdemeanors, some Fraggle Rock, and the Die Hard Trilogy, and I made fajitas. This weekend, I made mint chocolate fudge, and we watched American Beauty, and then I made venison burgers. School is getting boring, but I'm gonna miss everyone so much. It's gonna suck graduating. But whatever. The week is almost half-over, and this Fri-Sat, I'm going to Des' house to pick pumpkins and stuff (her birthday was last week; we went to the cider mill, and got cider and doughnuts...was good times), and then Diana is coming up and we're all gonna hang out some, and she can finally pick up her stuff (which is not a big deal, but which has been here for quite some time. The whole 20 gal aquarium is not all that useful at the moment. But now, I am back to talking to my Sarah. Who is awesome. Yay Sarah. :-D
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Well, people. It's been an interesting couple weeks since I last posted.
I've finished working at Nino's for the summer, gotten the whole loan thing sorted out,
entered a relationship, broke a table, and made almost $500.
Nino's is self-explanatory, nuff said.
The loan thing, well I went through HFL (Hebrew Free Loans) which is a really cool thing
offered by the JCMD (Jewish Community of Metro Detroit...yes, that's it's actual name), and,
unless somehow credit doesn't get approved, I'll be getting $1600 from them shortly, and the loan
is interest-free. Yay!
The relationship is a relatively short explanation, but suffice to say I'm extremely happy, if I do
spend a good deal of time pining. Her name is Sarah, and she goes to Western. Yes, yes, those of you from CMU cry out in horror, but too bad. Some of you may remember her from a couple of summers ago when
I was doing summer classes @ Central. She's 22, a history major, about 5 feet tall and cute as a button!
Anyhow, we've been talking again more this summer, and then I convinced her to come and visit and go to the RenFest with me, and things proceeded into a relationship, and it's wonderful. As I said, though, the trouble is of course that she's @ Western and I'm here. But, I figure we'll manage somehow, and so does she, and that's what counts. But yeah, that's that. Except that it should be noted that she's a picky eater, which has lead to some amusement on my part.
In the realm of table, I'm now staying at Luke's until my lease starts. I got here in my car...MY car (YAY!!!), which is now fixed. I was supposed to theoretically go over to a friend who is closer to my apt, but she's not there. Anyhow, I had another friend over, and she sat on the couch, and I sat on his glass table (which I do all the time at my house, but was of course stupid enough to do here without checking much...just sort of "oh, table...*plop*"), but anyhow, it broke, and it'll be $217 to replace it. But that's okay, since with work, at $10/hour, I've already made about 500 since Monday, and the hours just keep on coming. Which means new computer soon, new table for Luke, and then some money left over for, say, food and such.
Also of note is that it was my birthday on Wednesday. I was taken out and given a fishbowl at the Blackstone, beat Tricia at darts, and then had a sub with Colleen and Mel back at Luke's before passing out talking to Sarah.
Work is crazy busy and stuff, and continues to get moreso. For more details on that, question me.
I will soon have a new AIM name...it's time...so poke me in a couple of days if you want to know what it is and I haven't already poked you. Later all!
(P.S. Missy is awesome :-D)
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